#*insert the burning bibble here*

[entirelysein-e]

I actually write most my fics in @kenpachisbrat's chat because that takes the anxiety away. Plus she's the best hype woman ever 😭

[jayankles]

Not J2

Pairing: Dean x Plus size!Reader → Dean x Bailey[Me :)] - Platonic

Word Count: 3525

Warnings: Mentions of blood and gore, Language.

A/N – for @mrswhozeewhatsis #Not An April Fool’s Joke Challenge. Everyone received the same prompt - Your doorbell rings, and when you answer it, Sam and Dean Winchester are standing there in all of their denim-wrapped glory. Sam gives you the most effective set of puppy eyes you’ve ever seen and says, “[insert your name here], thank God you’re home. We need you.” They are not actually Jared and Jensen sent by your friend as an April Fool’s joke, they really are Sam and Dean Winchester, and they really need your help to save their hunt. - I kinda changed it a little tiny bit but it still makes sense. It was so hard to write in the first person.

Adjusting the thick black rimmed glasses on my face, I rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes, not wanting to continue the torture that was studying. Papers were scattered across the dining room table, some information going straight to my long term memory with enough rehearsal, but some of the others were completely missing the mark, becoming a tangled for me not to recall it at all.

A knock at my door sounded, I breathed out a sigh of relief, able to take my burning eyes off of my laptop screen. I opened my door and smiled seeing my best friend, Jessica. Her green floral bag slung over her shoulder, she smiled as she shook a bag of chocolate in my face.

‘God, I love you.’ I said as I took the bag from her grasp and hugged her.

‘Only when I give you food, you whore.’

I strolled past the full table, nodding with a lopsided smile.

‘Too right.’ I walked to my cupboard pulling out three serving bowls, then ambled over to the pantry, a packet of barbeque beef hula hoops and a few tubes of fruit pastels. ‘You think this will hold us over?’

When she didn’t answer me, I turned around, finding her taking selfies and being her natural, vain self. I rolled my eyes as she tilted her head to the side, getting a better angle, pushing the fringe of her bob cut brunette hair, off her face.

‘Are you done feeling yourself? I’m going to need some of your smartness right about now.’

‘Bailey, you know the answer, you just don’t think you do.’

‘Most of the stuff, I’m relatively okay at, at best. But anything biopsychology related is a big no no. Then there’s research methods and approaches. Fucking hate approaches. Stress convieniently stresses me out, aggression I can relate to and I like relationships even though I’ve never been in one. My memory is like a fish...shall I go on?’

Jess laughed, the sound passing through her red coated lips. ‘Nah, I think I got the message.’

‘Proper food’s almost done. My mom’s out and my sister’s are at my grandpa’s. Just you and me, the house to ourselves. Chicken and mash, you good with that?’ I asked as I poured the contents of the food bags out into the bowls.

‘Bibble, I so cool with that. You’re cooking and I get free food.’ She rolled her eyes, taking a seat up at the table. I punched her shoulder lightly before speaking.

‘Good because whether or not you like it or not, I would have rammed it down your throat, you had no other choice in the matter.’ I smiled sweetly.

Twenty minutes after Jess had arrived, the chicken was ready to be served. I had purposely cooked too much chicken for two people. If I’m being honest with you I told her it was for lunch for a few days in the week but I knew that after she left in the morning I would devour the rest of that poor chicken. I rubbed my plump stomach just thinking about it. Fucking skinny bitches. I love her really.

We ate our dinner relatively quickly, needing to retain and learn as much information as possible.

‘EWT...who studied it and what was their procedure?’ Jess asked, reading from her flashcards as I loaded the dishwasher with our empty plates.

‘Uh, that was Loftus, right?’ when she nodded, I continued, ‘it was a lab study of 45 particpants that were split into five groups. They watched a video of a car crash. Each group was given a verb in the misleading question.’

‘What were the verbs?’ She inquired taunting me as she popped a handful of hula hoops in her mouth, then reached for the fruit pastels.

‘Hit, bumped, smashed, contacted and… shit. It began with a “c” right?’

‘Yeah, come on, you know this, Bibble. Gimme another word for hit.’

‘Consti- nope, that has nothing to do with Psych. Lin’ll kill me.’

‘Dude another word for intersected!’

‘Oh god, I do this in maths...oh wait. Collided! Fuck yeah, bitch got it.’

I started to wiggle my shoulders in a little happy dance, Jess joining in quickly after.

‘Look at you knowing shit, but you ain’t done. What was the speed of the cars in the study that the groups gave, and give me supporting studies or AO2 points.’

‘Hit; 32, and smashed was...41 ish?’

‘Actually it was 31.8 and 40.8 but you got the verbs right.’

‘Do you have to be so pedantic?’

‘Duh,’ she winked, ‘supporting studies, go.’

Just as I was about to answer the knocker at my door alerted me of someone’s presence.

‘Be a doll and get that for me.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Thanks. Love ya.’ I smiled.

‘I know,’

I scoffed, ‘rude.’

When Jess went to the door, I busied myself, flicking the kettle on for another cup of tea, and tiding the table, straightening a few papers before taking my laptop and plugging it in before it died.

‘Uh Bailey.’ Jess’ voice sounded through the hallway a little shaky. I made my way down there to see who was at my door. My breath escaped me as  I saw Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki standing there, in their jeans, flannels and jackets. They looked as if they just walked off of the set of Supernatural still in character.

‘Hi.’

‘Hey.’ they spoke one after the other.

‘Holy shit, you guys are tall...and hot. Damn.’

Jensen looked a bit cocky like he knew exactly how hot he was. When you look like that, though, could anyone blame him.

I turned to Jess, ‘did you do this? You got Jensen and Jared here?’

‘Um no, and a little scared and horny at the same time.’ She whispered.

‘No kiddo. No Jensen and Jared here. Just Sam and Dean Winchester. But Bailey, we need your help.’ “Sam” said.

‘Oh my god. This is a prank, right? Sam and Dean can’t be real, they’re played by Jensen and Jared. This is the Frech Mistake all over again.’

‘Excuse me, what?’ Jared, no Sam, questioned. I didn’t even know what was going on anymore.

‘Sorry, come on in. Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee? We can talk about it if I get some tea in me.’

The men walked over the threshold and into my kitchen. I was freaking out and not Jensen but Dean had to make it worse and open his big, stupid, beautiful mouth.

‘Coffee’s perfect, thanks sweetheart.’ His deep voice was making my knees weak, I know cliché, but it was true the bastard just oozed sex appeal. It was wrong for me to fantasize about him, but anyone with eyes knew my pain. The twenty one year age gap didn’t make it better either.

‘What about you Sam? Can I get you anything? And how do you take it’ The last part I directed towards Dean.

‘Black, two sugars.’ I nodded my acknowledgement.

‘Do you have a bottle of water by chance?’

‘Sure do, moose.’

Jess raised an eyebrow at me and I just explained that Moose was Sam’s nickname on the show. She followed me around like a lost puppy as I frantically pulled out a bottle of water from my fridge and gave it to Jessica to give to Sam, while I finished my tea and Dean fucking Winchester’s coffee.

‘So lemme get this straight. You’re really Sam and Dean. And you need my help of all people. I got one question. Why me? I’m nobody, I have no talents where it counts. I can’t- no I don’t run, I can’t fight. I’ve gone through so much shit with my dad’s controlling and possessive behaviour. My mom’s nickname for me is “my little goldfish.” All I’m good at is eating and watching twelve seasons Supernatural in three months. So I ask you again, why me?’

Jess heard the quiver in my voice as I put myself down and talked about my family.

Sam was the one that spoke, ‘Bailey, you are so much more than that. You think that we would be here if you weren’t needed, if you weren’t strong enough, if you weren’t good enough?’ He scrambled from his seat and sat next to me, wrapping a large arm around my shoulder. ‘Apparently, this monster is right up your alley.’

‘Yeah, that’s something I want to hear, a monster made for me to take down. That’s great Sam, just great.’ I sassed as I again adjusted my glasses, ripping them off my face and rubbing my tear stained, red cheeks before putting them back on.

‘Bailey, Garth talks about you and your “mad Disney skills.” We need you on this one.’ Dean interjected.

‘Garth? How can Garth know of me? I don’t even exist in your freaking universe, I barely exist in this universe.’

‘Obviously, he’s heard of you, otherwise we wouldn’t be here.’ I was completely stunned, from what I had deduced from the prior discussion, people were dying because they didn’t know enough about Disney. I was freaking talented at something.

‘What do you need me to do?’ I was determined to be good at something and this was it.

The brothers looked at each other, telepathically speaking, if I was honest with myself I didn’t know whether I was impressed or spooked out.

‘You have to be the bait, answer the questions, then the monster dies itself. It should foam at the mouth and then vanish into thin air. It’s body can’t control itself when its prey gets all the questions right.’ Sam explained, his hand waving around, wildly gesturing in the air.

‘And what if I don’t? I become the bait, get the answers wrong. I die then it moves onto someone else to kill?’

Jess huffed and shook me. ‘You can’t think like that, you’re always pumping out unnecessary Disney information. I know you can do this Bibble. You need to do this and you will not die!’

I changed from my pyjamas into a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt. If I did die I’d rather save my clothes. On the bright side, if I did die, I wouldn’t have to worry about the stress that was hanging over my head to do well in my exams at the end of the college year.

‘I don’t even know what this monster is.’ I whisper shouted as Sam and Dean walked on either side of me into the warehouse, of course it had to be an old, abandoned warehouse. Why couldn’t it be a nicely decorated mansion. I’d be happy to die there. Gosh, I am such a drama queen.

Dean knew what was running through my mind, also my heavy breathing was a give away. He stops and grabs my face in his large callous hands. God this feels good. ‘Alright, sweetheart. You go in there, you answer those questions to the best of your ability and kill that son of a bitch. If we think things are about to go south, we come here guns blazing and we save your ass for as long as we can.’ His hands drop and he nods at me.

‘Great pep talk, thanks Dean. Okay but all jokes aside, you and your brother really make a difference; in any world you are in. You truly are my hero, Dean Winchester.’ Sam coughed. ‘You’re up there too but you’ve ruined my moment so let’s go kill this son of a bitch.’

‘That’s my girl.’ Dean grinned before he nodded to his brother, ‘she’s ready.’

‘Wait, one more thing, actually two. If I don’t make it, tell Jess to tell my family that I love them and second thing. Can I get a hug from the infamous Winchesters?’

‘Sure thing.’ I embraced both the brothers in a side hug each, sandwiched between them before I let go, leaving my fate in the monsters hands.

‘Ten cuts, ten facts. The wounds will heal one by one if you answer the questions correctly.’

‘What! Wait a minute, why are you slicing me up? Can’t you just tie me to a chair?’

‘More suffering on your part. You’ll be free but unable to go anywhere until you answer all the questions, but if you don’t answer them, well, my poor child, I kill you. You die a slow death, so much so that you will beg me to stab a knife into your chest just to stop the pain.’ His voice was sinister as he continued to tell me the types of torture that he would use. Apparently, I wasn’t worth killing straight away and I don’t know whether to be flattered or scared shitless; always the latter.

‘Can we just start so I can kill your ass?’ I huffed as I sat on the floor, playing with a loose thread on my sweatpants. Might as well get comfortable, right?

‘Very well. Let’s begin.’ He flicked his wrist, pain serged through my body as wounds scattered across my limbs and stomach, crimson blood already seeping through my clothes. ‘Who voiced Belle in the original 1991 Beauty in the Beast?’

‘Paige O’Hara.’ I felt the smallest of the wounds close up, no doubt that I gave the correct answer.

‘Which two female villains were voiced by the same person?’

‘Maleficent and Lady Tremaine.’ Another wound healed.

‘Who was WALL-E named after?’

‘Walter Elias Disney.’ Another.

‘Who voiced Scar?’

‘Jeremy Irons’

‘Character with the least lines?’

‘You’d think it would be Sleeping Beauty but it’s Dumbo with no lines at all.

‘What’s so special about the Frozen characters; Sven, Hans, Anna and Kristoff?’

‘Frozen was based off of The Snow Queen written by Hans Christian Anderson rearrange the names. Hans, Kristoff, Anna, Sven – sounds an awful lot like Hans Christian Anderson.’

‘The Beatles were supposed to voice characters in a movie, which characters in which movie was it?’

‘The...it was the – um – it was The Jungle Book. They were supposed to be the vultures.’

‘There’s a Disney theory revolving around Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel, Ariel and Tarzan. What is it?’

‘Anna and Elsa are cousins with Rapunzel through their mothers, they are sisters. When Anna and Elsa’s parent’s go on the ship for two weeks they are supposedly going to Flynn and Rapunzel’s wedding but the thunder strikes, the parents don’t die, they’re washed up on the island and give birth to Tarzan. As for Ariel, the ship she looks around for human thingimabobs, the ship belongs to Anna and Elsa’s parents.’

The more questions that were thrown at me the more pain from the contuisions followed as he continued. I’m not a big fan of pain but then again who was? I couldn’t think straight. I clutched my sides as I got to the last two questions, these last lacerations giving me the most amount of discomfort but I had to do this. I knew the answers and I couldn’t put myself down any longer, not if more people would die after my mistake.

I felt light headed, the ground shaking as I went from the sitting position to curled up in the fetal position. A scream through my throat as he asked the next set of questions

‘Name King Triton’s seven daughters.’

‘Arista, Attina, Adella, Alana, Aquata, Ariel’ These were getting harder and harder, it took me a while to remember all of them and it was my favourite movie, I couldn’t remember the last one until it finally hit me. ‘Andrina.’

If I thought that the pain couldn’t get any worse, I was wrong. The penultimate would healed only for me to feel the transference of pain in my right side.

‘Should’ve worn red, dammit. Fuck I feel like I should’ve studied. Alright, last question, come on, Walt. Hit me with it.’

He asked the final question and my heart dropped. ‘Mary Poppins says that this word is a word to say when you don’t know what to say. How do you say it backwards?’

‘Shit,’ “Walt” smiled. ‘Just give me a second to figure this out. Supercali-Supercalifra-supe-’ I pause for a second, the pain still evident and lingering on my side before I look into his muddy brown eyes and smirked. ‘Docious-ali-expi-istic-fragi-cali-rupus. Suck on that you son of a bitch.’ I breathed. And just as the brothers explained, the monster foamed at the mouth, its sternum started to glow before he exploded, some of its gut landing on my face.

‘Great, just what I needed,’ I whispered before shouting out to the brothers that it was over and if they had a tissue or something to wipe my gut covered face with. I collapsed even further into the floor, the pain a little numb before disappearing completely.

Sweat was forming on my face, combining itself with the guts, before it dribbled down my neck. All my wounds were healed and all I could do was lie there in a daze, waiting for the brothers to come through the door. Sam and Dean came through the door, along with Jess.

‘See Bibble, you didn’t die. Good job you watch all those Disney movies, huh?’ When she came into the light and saw your face, she didn’t hold back her comments. ‘Ew, you look like shit, even more than usual.’

‘Thanks for that, just totally saved your ass and you’re giving my shit.’

‘You know I love you.’

She hugged me despite my disgusting state, ‘yeah, yeah.’

Sam laughed at the banter between Jess and I while Dean pulled out a black bandana from his back pocket and handed it to me.

‘Thanks, how many times you had to do that?’

The older Winchester smirked, ‘too many. Let’s just say that it’s enough to own at least ten of them.’

‘Oh one question. How do I get the blood out?’

The drive back in the impala was a dream come true for me. I was with my best friend, in the backseat of the Winchester’s baby.

When we reached my home, the Winchesters got out first. Sam and Dean respectively opening the doors for Jess and I, walking us to my front door.

‘How do you guys go this on a daily basis? I gotta give you guys credit, you live a crazy life.’ Jess was impressed by the brothers, and they hadn’t even done anything today but she soon realised that the episodes that I made her watch, they endured so much pain physically and emotionally. The brothers smiled again and shared a look. Jess whispered, ‘ do they do that all the time?’ I nodded. ‘Damn.’

‘We ever need you again, we’ll give you a call. And if you ever need us,’ Sam grabbed a card from his jacket pocket, handing it to me. ‘Anytime.’

‘Got it.’ I wrapped my arms around his waist and thanked him once more.

Jess went into the house after she said goodbye to the Winchesters, and Sam made his way over to the impala, leaving Dean and I alone.

‘You’re such a Disnerd!’

I punched his shoulder, ‘shut up, I saved...well, myself and future vics and aren’t you the one that’s always referencing Star Wars or anything pop culture.’

‘No, maybe, shut up.’

‘Mmm. That’s what I thought.’ Raising my eyebrows and smirking at him. ‘You heading back to the bunker?’

‘Yeah, ‘bout a three days drive.’

I tsked at Dean, asking him to follow me into the kitchen. ‘That’s what I was afraid of. Good job I’m a fat ass who cooked too much food.’

I pulled out the two containers; one with the chicken and the other with the mash. ‘For the road. Should hold you over for a while, better than gas station food right?’

‘Jeez, kid. I’m glad we found you.’

‘Eh. Gives me a chance to see you guys again. You gotta bring back the containers though otherwise my mom will go ballistic.’ I giggled as he fell into a whole body laughter, his back swinging as he lent back. ‘I’m not even joking.’

‘Got any jerky while you’re at it.’

I knew it was a joke but as I thought about it, I recalled something. ‘Actually, I do. I totally forgot about that. I tried it but didn’t like it.’ I made my way to the pantry and pulled out the packages, handing them to him, walking to the front door.

‘God, kid. You’re better than Sam.’

‘Hold that thought because before you ask, no I do not have any pie. Not a fan.’

He dramatically gasped. ‘How dare you! I should kill you for commit such a crime.’

‘Just means more pie for you, dumbass.’ I pushed his back, shoving him out the door, arms laden with goodies. ‘Alright, come’ere, tough guy.’

I embraced him, when he pulled back, he kissed my temple. We said our final goodbyes and he set off, the familiar creek of Baby’s doors sound as Dean got into his beloved Chevrolet. The brothers both waved before they drove away, heading off to save the world from the monsters that supposedly didn’t exist. But I knew differently.

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